just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I just found a bag of teeth...
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
My penis needs a shock collar
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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