I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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