He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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