R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I have fence marks all over my body
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
