If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
