and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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