remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Just cropdusted the office
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
