My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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