in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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