Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
