You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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