Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
