I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
