I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
