my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
vagina is talking i cant
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
