god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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