He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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