neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
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