I want to make a zoo with you.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
