Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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