Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
