in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
