Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
