my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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