I just pynch a tree in the face
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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