this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
It was confusing and full of hummus
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
