I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
