there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
