Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
In other news, I just burned my penis
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
