All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I need to sanitize my soul.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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