Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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