Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
last night I used snow as a chaser
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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