Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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