No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
