So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
