if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
