I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
