Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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