sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
