Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I am available for nakedness
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
