One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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