Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
