Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
