i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Randomize
