i think my tv is drunk
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
you would pick up someone in the library
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
