His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
