I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
