Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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