it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
