I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Less talking, more tequila
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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